Perk of having a big bum: when you slip down the stairs and you’ve got enough cushion to make sure it doesn’t hurt as much.
[writes paper] this doesnt make any sense [prints it] [doesn’t proofread] [hands it in for a grade]
dark humour isn’t everybody’s cup of liquidized dead baby
That joke isn’t my cup of pungent maggot infested afterbirth
remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason